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The Platypus Conspiracy

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It's Jerry's fault. Music: https://soundcloud.com/querflote/5-audio-track-1 Additional footage licensed from Pond 5

Text:

the shaggy platypus ornithorincus pylosis is rarely seen out of the water however in springtime young males leave the safety of their homes in search of new rivers and streams in which to find a mate the adaptations that make them remarkable swimmers are of no use out of the water they are awkward and defenseless making them vulnerable to the nearby tasmanian devil time is of the essence the platypus pauses it can sense there is a waterway nearby he must hurry lest he succumb as many males do to the ravages of the tasmanian devil slipping down the bank and into cool waters his many days journey is now complete jerry faded out fade to blackjack well now they've seen it all right i'm sorry this is how you have to find out but there's no such thing as a beaver a beaver is just a backward platypus that evolved some giant ass teeth like giant ass teeth apparently they like to put wood back there the science hippies told me not to tell you but you deserve to know i